This week’s window shop was going to be all about how to recreate the beach experience at your own home, but these summery morsels are too good not to show off. Maybe I’ll do the beach-in-your-garden theme next week – I just need to source some nice, golden sand that doesn’t smell of cat piss or contain bits of building rubble and I’ll be sorted. (Mr AMR would have a total fit if I poured sand all over the lawn – HA! He mows it every week, makes those alternating stripes and everything…)

Let’s get started, then, with the bits and pieces that will make you Queen of the Beach this summer.

Behold: the ultimate bikini, from the Queen of Bikinis Lisa Marie Fernandez. So expensive that you will never want to dip a toe anywhere near chlorine or seawater, but hey – proper beach people just pose on their loungers. Don’t they? (I don’t often go in the sea or the pool unless I’m so hot that my toe hairs are catching on fire. I just don’t like lying there all soggy afterwards and I hate having to reapply my sun lotion when there’s sand about.) You can find this Holy Grail of Bond Girl bikinis at Net-a-Porter here – the price-tag will make your eyes water…

…but nobody will notice if you have your amazing Miu Miu shades on! (See what I did there?) These cat-eye beauties are completely OTT – just add silken headscarf and bright coral lipstick. £135 at The Outnet.

To get the bod to a good level of beach-bronzeness without even stepping foot in the sun: the Radiance Plus Golden Glow Booster for Body from Clarins. A few drops of this, nightly, mixed into your preferred body lotion, cream, oil or serum and you’ll build up a beautiful tan. It’s very gradual, but you can speed things up by adding more drops. Find it here online –  £22.85.

Picture the scene: you’re in your retro bikini, wide-brimmed sunhat on, sunglasses looking sharp, body all bronzage and shimmering, reclined on your wooden sunlounger on one of those beaches where they have proper toilets and people that come and bring you drinks and cold flannels… What are we missing? Sounds. Music. I mean, you could just plug some headphones into your iPhone like everyone else, but who wants to fade into the crowd? I’ll be honest, this Roberts Radio was a more of a “recreate the beach at home” sort of item, but boy does it look pretty. It’s £169.95 at John Lewis here.

“Slides” (those rubbery shoes with a thick band across the toes) have fast overtaken the flip-flop as my casual summer shoe of choice. No longer do I have to endure the initial pain of breaking in when I dig out my Havaianas, when I spend about three days feeling as though someone has driven a large chisel into the gap between my big toe and – er – next biggest toe. I just slip on my slides and go! In all honesty, I do find them a lot less delicate than flip-flops and it’s unlikely I’d ever wear them with a pretty dress, but for now, I am enjoying my non-splayed feet. You can find these palm print slides (made by the appropriately-named brand Slydes) at ASOS here – they’re a mere £18.

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