This is the breakfast room at the Meurice hotel in Paris. I’m not even joking – it’s like eating in some kind of film set. I kept expecting Marie Antoinette to glide in and order poached eggs. (Good eggs, by the way.) I stayed at Le Meurice as a guest of Chanel when I went to see the Culture Chanel exhibition, so, all-in-all very nice indeed – a night in even the smallest of guestrooms costs, I think, from €640!

Let’s talk about service. Returning to my room a little tipsy at half past midnight, I waltzed into the bathroom in my pants (irrelevant detail) to find that my chaotic beauty mess had been neatly tidied into this:

It was as though Monica from Friends had visited while I was out. Most disconcerting. Look at how the mini oil has been placed on a cotton-wool disc! Look at how the bottles are lined up in height order!

I did love the Meurice- it was pretty faultless, as you’d hope. Very well located, charming staff and a handy little on-site operating theatre for when you need to sell your kidneys and/or limbs at checking-out time. They think of everything, these luxury hotels…