Sunday Tittle Tattle: My Dad Wrote a Porno

by | May 28, 2017

my dad wrote a porno podcast review

I said I’d be back with more podcast recommendations and so here we are, a mere week later, with My Dad Wrote a Porno. Apologies to those who read the title of this post and spat out their tea: be assured that it’s not my own Dad who has written a porno. (Oh GOD, the idea, I can’t even.)

My Dad Wrote a Porno, or MDWAP, is an incredibly funny series in which three friends tear apart an “erotic” novel written by one of their dads. If the idea of your own father (or mother) writing a saucy tome makes you want to be physically sick, then spare a thought for poor Jamie Morton whose dad not only wrote one (Belinda Blinked) but emailed him the chapters. Imagine.

Thankfully, Jamie decided to make the best out of a bad situation and turn his Dad’s book into a podcast, reading out a chapter a week whilst remaining impressively composed. And it’s hard to decide which is funnier; his Dad’s terrible writing or the hilarious running commentary given by his friends. They frequently stop him mid-sentence, aghast at some horrendous turn of phrase or cringeworthy description of genitalia. It’s hard to put into words quite how badly written the “erotic” novel actually is, but this is what makes the critique of it so very funny.

It’s as though Jamie’s Dad (writing under his pen-name, Rocky Flinstone) has just poured out whatever – surprisingly vanilla – fantasy was lurking in his head at that particular moment, with no consideration for literary style, characterisation, plot or even basic grammar. He describes sex sequences that are physically impossible, he removes characters’ clothes that have already been removed, he has a fondness for writing long passages (soz) that detail the most boring and mundane events possible… It’s so bad, it’s brilliant.

I listen to it in private, because it makes me guffaw like a lunatic. I did toy with the idea of playing it on the train last week, when I went into town, but I couldn’t deal with the funny looks that I’d no doubt get. It’s one thing trying to breastfeed a newborn on a packed train, it’s quite another trying to breastfeed a newborn on a packed train whilst you have tears of mirth streaming down your face. People would think I was quite unhinged.

Now I have to say, at this point, that Mr AMR thinks that My Dad Wrote a Porno is extremely silly and not funny in the slightest. I’m sure he thinks that this post is a bit risky, because he considers my sense of humour to be unpredictable and – let’s cut to the chase – immature. He’d be worried that you’d all go off and listen to MDWAP and wonder what the hell I was thinking. That you’d think badly of me.

The truth is that I am quite easily tickled – my comic triggers are many and varied. I like silly things, though not too silly; this is perhaps controversial, but Monty Python never quite did it for me, whereas Fawlty Towers creased me every time. I also like cringe-worthy things – Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David is perhaps my all-time favourite comedy series – and I also like dirty, below-the-belt stand-up.

So listen to MDWAP at your own risk – perhaps you’ll hate it, but maybe, like me, you’ll find something that makes you cackle into the darkness as you play it at bedtime, or snort unattractively as you stand squashed into a hot underground carriage. Belinda Blinked is singularly the most un-horny piece of writing you’ll ever hear in your life, but the commentary from Jamie & Co is scathing in the extreme and so witty that you can’t help returning for more. It’s perhaps a little repetitive to listen to all of the episodes in one go (I have to limit myself to one or two a day) but if you’re looking for a humorous little morsel to devour as you potter away the Bank Holiday then this could be just the thing.

You can download it on iTunes, or they have a website for the podcast here. I genuinely haven’t laughed so much in ages – not since reading through the entire works of David Sedaris, in fact. He’s another one you should never indulge in when you’re out and about…

*Update: I’ve just seen that they are releasing series three of My Dad Wrote a Porno on the 29th May. That’s tomorrow!

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