1) I’ve just returned from Paris. Nothing new or particularly notable there, as I am often in Paris, but this time I managed to find a spare hour and nip to City Pharma, the packed-to-the-rafters-with-skincare-gems pharmacy that is frequented by those in the know. It was RAMMED in there. It had a SECURITY GUARD on the door! I’ve been to pharmacies all over the city, dozens of them, but this is the first I’ve been into that had such an air of frenzy and excitement about it. And I did something very naughty (probably): I secretly filmed my browsing of the shelves. I hope that the film comes out properly – it might be a bit wobbly in places – so that I can put a video together for you. Watch this space! It made me laugh that there were so many avid Youtube-watchers and beauty-blog-readers in there, especially as I had popped out from my hotel wearing the most horrendous clothing ensemble I think I have ever come up with…

2) I’m off to the Empire Film Awards tonight, which should be very exciting. Mind you, I do start off these events feeling very enthusiastic and have a colossal energy flop about two hours in. It’s all the clapping you have to do. Like a performing seal. I might take some kind of percussion instrument with me that means that I don’t have to move my arms so much – castanets, perhaps. I’ll try and do a little bit of videoing when I’m there if I can – or if I have enough wine, you might see me on the news trying to force fimstars to do selfies with me…

3) I’m almost positive I had something else to tell you, but my mind is like some kind of shrivelled prune this week. Prune-Brain status is set to continue for at least another month or so; a quick look at my diary tells me that free time is minimal until June. It’s all systems go! The only thinking time I get is in the bath or when I’m taking the dog for a walk (above) – but in the bath I’m usually mulling over the beauty products that line the edge of the tub, and on the dog walk I’m usually preoccupied with making sure that Dexter doesn’t gobble undesirable objects up from out of the river.

4) The Terrible Two. You’ve got them in the same pic, this week; here they are play-fighting against the wall. They look as though they’re being shadow puppets! If you want more pictures then follow me on Instagram – the cat and dog also have their own page, it’s here. Sad but true. Sorry.