Just a quick one (ooh err!): last week I took a lot of fashion pictures for Instagram Stories, loved them all, realised they were kind of wasted on a platform that makes things disappear forever after a mere twenty-four hours and decided to post them on here so that they have a permanent place for all eternity. Or at least for a couple of hundred years.

God, imagine if someone is reading this in 2119. At school. Imagine if it’s on the curriculum as a historical text! “Crilly was widely regarded as the Shakespeare of her day. If you turn to page 154, you will see a whole feature she wrote on people putting objects into various orifices. At the time, this piece of writing was considered a work of contemporary art. Of course now none of us can write because we spend too much time in our reality TV headsets and we simply Ask Alexa if we need something, but if we continue through pages 155 to 176 we can see more of Crilly’s genius and live life vicariously through her magnificent words.”

Where was I? Fashion. There are some brilliant sales on, but my most-frequented always tends to be the Hush sale. I was sent some outfits to shoot, but I’ve just gone back in and bought a load of stuff that I suddenly realised would be outrageously useful. And some things that were so reduced I couldn’t resist, like this camo skirt* for £25.

Shop the Hush sale…*

Some of the items I shot for my Instagram Stories are in the sale, some are current collection and aren’t reduced – I’ll put the details below each section in case anything catches your eye. I feel as though some of these pictures should have been included in my “Ruth Tries Trends” category; we’ve got shorts worn with a jacket, camo print worn with lace… Next time, perhaps.

I’d like to also draw your attention to my wooden shoes; they sound massively impractical but are actually quite comfy, considering you’re basically walking on blocks of tree stump. They have a distinct “summer of love” vibe about them and make everything you wear with them (pretty much) look like it’s from Chloe. I mean, don’t test that statement to the limits – it’s not a challenge – if you wore the wooden shoes with a day-glo unitard and a top hat it would be distinctly un-Chloe. But floaty dresses and bits of denim and huge sunglasses all work very well.

You can find the shoes at Office here* – they were £65 and I’ve worn them a lot, so already excellent value for money. They also make my feet look slim and tanned. It helps that I’ve had a gel pedicure, but there’s something about tan leather that makes you look – well, tanned.

This was supposed to be a short and sweet post with lots of photos and I’ve wittered on for ages, so let’s look at some clothes and the non-existent trends that I’ve basically made up because I couldn’t think of a better post title.

---

Lace with Camo

Right, this has been around for ages and never gets old. It’s a version of “parka with posh dress”; something feminine and pretty roughed up with some military green and stiff fabric. I have to say that the dress is incredibly lovely on its own, I felt like an old-fashioned milk maid but one with a sexy secret, and the camo jacket is a handy little thing that would probably see you through to mid-Autumn.

Shop:

Office Wooden Heeled Shoes* £65

Joline Lace Dress, £89*

Camo Military Jacket, £75 down to £50*

---

Shorts with Jacket

It’s sort of a statement wearing shorts with a jacket isn’t it? It’s especially a statement if you have a vest, jumper and jacket on the top half and then bare legs. What are you saying with this statement? Look at my legs! Sometimes it’s necessary, especially if you’ve just put a load of Vita Liberata Body Blur* on them and they suddenly look like they belong to a person who eats a macrobiotic diet and spends their life on the beach. (Almost.)

Sidenote: I think that if I had to pick one summer beauty staple, it would have to be Body Blur. Every time I use it, without fail, someone comments on my legs. Asks how I get them so glowy and smooth. Wonders whether I’ve been away on holiday. Even if they are stubbly and pale underneath, the surface finish makes people think that I have holiday legs.

No, Patricia, it’s all fake!

You can find Body Blur here* – I use the shade Latte and I must say that it’s pretty shocking when you first apply – it looks very dark. Latte Light is a better match for me but I think it’s in my car glovebox. (Don’t ask.) If you were incredibly fair then I’d go for the one called Cafe Creme, and there’s also Latte Dark and Mocha. You can find them all here* and at FeelUnique*.

The chino shorts I’m wearing are so comfy. I don’t get on well with shorts anymore, they never have the right leg/waist ratio, so if I get them big enough to accommodate my hip girth then the legs and bottom are gapey and loose. If I get a good fit on legs and bottom, I have to virtually shoehorn my stomach into the waistband. These: perfect ratio, and they’re not even elasticated! You can find the chino shorts here*.

Shop:

Vita Liberata Body Blur in Latte Light*

Chino Shorts, £45*

Lucky Sweater, £79 down to £55*

Joyce Jacket, £75*

---

Too-Short Trousers

OK I know this isn’t a trend, it’s just a type of trouser length – cropped – but I’ve never been that down with it until now. I always thought that cropped trousers looked stupid (and still mostly do when it comes to those wide-legged ones) but in reality they can be quite flattering. Ankles nearly always look good – neat and trim – and so having them a bit revealed, like a naughty Victorian temptress, can only mean great things.

I don’t know why these particular cropped chinos are called girlfriend chinos; are they supposed to be ones you’ve borrowed from a/your girlfriend, or ones that you’d wear if you are a girlfriend? Who knows! Same with “Mom” jeans: are they for moms, or from moms? And what of boyf – you know what, I’m going to stop now.

Love the bright pink Love t-shirt with the plain black chinos. I may have to add the pink chinos* to my basket too, though I should warn you that the same size chino (UK 12) as the cargo shorts has a much smaller waistband. It garrottes me somewhat, in places that shouldn’t be garrotted, but such is the price we pay for eating eight huge meringues in one sitting whilst watching season two of Big Little Lies.

Shop:

Girlfriend Chinos, £75*

Love Tee, £35 down to £30*

Hever Canvas Trainers, £38*

A note on the canvas trainers: I like that the stripes elevate these from simple plimsolls to something a bit funkier. Plimsoll Plus. So far I have managed to keep them pristinely white, even over the course of two days in London, but we all know that it only takes one child/dog/cat to decide to stand on your feet and all will be lost. Why do kids and animals do that? Trample on the tops of your feet? It’s such an odd thing to do…

Right, that’s it for now – let me know if you find any amazing bargains. I’ve just seen that Soho Home has a sale on, so I’m going to go and see if I can find a light for the utility room!