No, not a typo – I just don’t want to start turning up on the wrong pages of the internet, if you know what I mean…

It’s payday. Unless you’re freelance, like me, in which case payday could be on any day, but could also be on no day. So, as I have pretty much emptied out my bank account until Christmas, here’s my little bit of fantasy shopping – or Payday P*rn.

1) Aubin & Wills Quilted Cotton-Jersey Sweater, £45 Net-a-Porter. Now this is one that I may actually have to give in to. In fact, by the time you read this, I probably will have bought it. I’m a sucker for grey marl, and I love the quilting. And it’s about the same price as something from Zara – definitely cheaper than Reiss and Whistles. Hopefully the man in the little van from N-a-P will deliver it too….

2) J.Crew Metallic Knitted Sweater, £80 at Net-a-Porter. More sweater love – I may have to buy this one too. P*rn meets reality, here – I want this to jazz up my jeans, and it will also look fab on Christmas day! (Thinking ahead, as you should always do…)

3) Mulberry Alexa Croc Satchel, £885 from Selfridges. I’ll be honest with myself: this one ain’t ever gonna happen. Uh-uh. I’m still working my way around to using the ‘sparkle tweed Tillie’, possibly the most impractical bag ever designed, so I can’t imagine that a croc bag in off-white will fare any better. Still, we can but dream..

4) A British Shorthair Cat (blue, please). See below – there are many more videos I could embed, I have spent hours cooing over them. If anyone has, or knows of a blue shorthair for sale, do tell! (By the way, yes I do know a cat’s for life and not just payday..)

5) Actually, just the cat will do. I want one sooooooooooooo much.