1) Trying to take my tights off without falling over and causing myself fatal head trauma

2) How I was going to sneak into bed and pretend to be less drunk than I was, even though I could hardly remember my name

3) Why I had a section of pizza crust stuck in my hair

It goes without saying that cleansing was not a priority. However, I am fastidious about taking off make-up before sleeping, and when the irritatingly sober voice of my conscience began to whine at me as I was brushing my teeth, I knew that I would not be able to sleep easy until I had done it.

Enter Clarins One-Step Facial Cleanser, which is part-oil, part-lovely-orange-smelling liquid. This is a product that definitely undersells itself; it whispers it’s claim modestly on the bottle “One-Step” cleanser, whereas really it should be bellowing “I TAKE OFF ALL MAKE-UP INCLUDING MASCARA, IN UNDER TWENTY SECONDS, I AM MARVELLOUS!” (ouch. My head.)

The oil in this cleanser melts make-up away, and the liquid freshens up. It’s not harsh or abrasive, you don’t need water and it leaves the skin feeling moisturised rather than tight and dry. £17.50, widely available, and a bottle will last a good while, unless you do what I did last night, and shake it vigorously with the lid off.