‘Sorry,’ she said when she returned after about five minutes, ‘I was oiling myself and I couldn’t grip the phone!’

This is nothing unusual, she has been moisturising religiously for all of her adult life. Sometimes with Almond Oil, sometimes with a treat from Molton Brown, but always with something. She never forgets, and she must spend the hour or so before bed slithering about all over the place if the way she drops her phone is any indication.

Anyway, my point is this: her skin is amazing. Better than ten-years-younger, much more like fifteen-to-twenty-years-younger. I want to put up a photo in evidence, but she would strangle me with her slippery moisturiser-hands.

‘Is it a Molton Brown night?’ I asked, ‘or are you still using up the Clarins?’

‘No!’ she exclaimed, ‘I’ve found a new favourite, it’s the best yet!’

Turns out that Neutrogena wins hands-down in my Mum’s books when it comes to body moisturising. Easily absorbed, neutral-smelling and fantastic results; all this at a fraction of the price of the others.