On the way to the gym today, I did my usual detour through the large branch of Boots at Liverpool Street Station. I do this little meander on most weekdays, and for a number of reasons:

1. I like to see what Boots has to offer me that day, whether it be 2-for-1 on prophylactics, BOGOF on incontinence pads, or half-price reading glasses.

2. I absolutely love annoying the ladies at the beauty counter, who, inexplicably, have always had some kind of group vendetta against me, despite the fact that I’ve spent quite a considerable amount of money at their counters over the last seven years. They hate me touching their samples, and they hate it even more when I use the plastic stem of a cotton bud to scrape off a dod of lipstick to test. Needless to say that I try to do these things as many times as possible each week.

3. It delays having to go to the gym. Enough said.

Today, on my little donder about, I spotted the lovely Lancome/Alice Temperley cosmetic bag, at the Lancome counter, obviously. It was locked away in a gleaming glass case, and as I edged nearer to get a better look, Lancome Lady shot over to the case so fast I’m surprised her feet didn’t burst into flames. “Can I help you?”

It was rather a beauty, the bag. Much bigger than I had expected it to be from the press release, and much more expensive-looking. I wanted it straight away, of course. I absolutely needed it, in fact, but sadly ’twas not to be. As I reached out to touch the glass with my pale fingertips, Lady Lancome, Guardian of The Counter, pressed a secret panic button and the glass case was instantly surrounded by thick iron bars, as a loud siren began to wail.

No, not really. I just couldn’t decide which two products I should buy to get my free gift (which includes two rather generous-sized cleansers) and then I was late for my gym class. When I potter through Boots tomorrow, however, I shall be stocking up on Bi-Facil, which is a rather nice eye make-up remover (£19) and… I’m not sure on the second thing. An eyebrow pencil perhaps.

Temperley bag for Lancome, free with two purchases (one to be skincare), while stocks last!