I am in no way exaggerating when I tell you that these knickers by Hanky Panky are by far the best thongs that I have ever worn. I hate thongs. I even hate the word thong. But these lace beauties are just in a different league to the usual thrush-inducing arse-flossing scraps of nylon that are routinely offered to us by lingerie brands. “Here! Spend £38 on the matching thong why don’t you? You’ll possibly be infertile after three hours and have a strange rash in your special areas, but we don’t care! It’s MATCHING for Christ’s sake!” You know the scratchy ones that I’m talking about, don’t you? The ones that appear to have been pattern-cut by a madman. Or perhaps just a man.

The problem with thongs is that they are a bit of a necessity. Almost every outfit that’s figure-skimming requires a thong. At home, beneath the comfy tracksuit, M&S 100% cotton knickers rule the roost, but when it comes to stepping out into the world, something a little daintier is often needed. Yes, you can get away with those flimsy seamless pants (Debenhams do good ones, but they do tend to curl up in the leg and then dig in) and if you wanted to, you could wear Spanx, but it’s all a bit cumbersome and sweaty, isn’t it?

So for now, the Hanky Panky is my favourite pant. This knicker is one-size-fits-all, though, and I have a feeling that is why it is so supremely comfortable on my size 10 frame. Were I a size 18/20, I’m not so sure how comfy it would be, but I would welcome any feedback from various knicker-sizes – please leave a comment! As a little test, though, I have stretched a pair to their limits and they seem to have quite a bit of leeway. I could get two of me into mine without overly stretching them. (Now that would be a fun test, wouldn’t it?) There’s no singular piece of elastic sewn through, so you don’t get a cutting-in line as the knicker stretches, the whole piece of lace just stretches to accommodate.

I am not lying when I tell you that I have never been more pleased with my knickers – I bought four single pairs, and then I spotted them in the sale at Net-a-Porter and bought five more pairs! The best thing about these is that I’ll never grow out of them – they’ll last me my whole lifetime! (Visualises a 90-year-old self with Zimmer frame, wearing acid-green thong.)

£18 per pair, but you know what? I’ll pay that, I’ll pay that gladly – no muffin-top, no VPL, no vastly uncomfortable piece of fabric slicing my bottom in half. Just soft waistband, substantial gusset (I have ALWAYS wanted to say that) and brilliant, acid-bright colours.

Find them at  Net-a-Porter