I have woken up with actual people living on my fingers. I cannot begin to tell you how unnerving it is to open your eyes for the first time in the morning and see tiny, cartoonish eyes staring back at you from mere inches away.. Just look at them!

It’s amazing how two white dots with two smaller black dots painted inside can bring something to life. I was watching CBeebies a few weeks ago (as you do) and there was a programme about animated household objects – it seemed that all the animators had to do was stick eyes on the egg/saw/cotton-reel/onion/loo-roll and suddenly the object had a life, a personality. I thought that this programme (I forget the name) was simply marvelous so when I had the opportunity to bring my nails to life, I jumped at the chance!

‘Eek’ nails are the creation of amazingly talented nail technician Sophy Robson – she created them for a Giles Deacon show and they have been a bit of a runaway success ever since. I think that they’re lots of fun, even if my dear husband did look at my hands over dinner and say “your nails look ridiculous. Really ridiculous.”

Sophy has opened her first ever standalone salon downstairs at Hari’s hair salon in Chelsea. It looks lovely down there, but I had my nails done whilst my hair was being cut – bonus! I wanted ‘Eek’ nails but I didn’t want bright colours, so I went for pale nude metallics and gold tones instead. (That makes it sound as though I chose this genius combination, but I actually saw someone else’s finished nails and pointed at them and said “I want that one.” So no credit to me there.) I got a proper, good manicure before my fashion nails were painted on so hopefully they’ll last for ages – the longer they last, the more Mr Grumpy will find them ridiculous. Ha!

A manicure at Hari’s is £32 and an extra £5 if you want some nail art that is sure to bewilder and possibly irritate the man in your life. Surely as good a reason as any other? I’m off now – I want to spend some time walking my fingers up and down the kitchen table, putting on different falsetto voices for each little nail-person.

You can book an appointment for Sophy’s nails at Hari’s salon by emailing here: email salon@sophyrobson.com