There were some terrible feet on display on the Central Line this morning. Some real shockers. A lady got on at Liverpool Street wearing battered leather sandals, and her feet looked like artefacts from the Egyptian Mummies room at the British Museum. I half expected her to be trailing lengths of brown, dusty bandage behind her.

An early summer always brings out bad feet – nobody’s prepared; feet are still white and doughy with brittle, uneven nails and hard bits of skin sticking out all over the shop.

Get thee a pedicure, I say! I’m going to have one tomorrow, and that’s a massive effort for me because I hate having my feet touched.

What has prompted all this talk about feet today? I’ll tell you.

Fellow model Zoe (I mean fellow in the sense that we are united by occupation, not that Zoe is a fellow) turned up to our job today with feet that looked tanned and buffed to perfection, wearing the brightest shade of pink on her toes that I have ever seen. Turns out that a fluro-coloured varnish makes feet look much more tanned than they really are, and lets you get away with a few little foot-sins as well.

If your feet look as though they belong to the Lindow Man (Google image him) then you could do worse than to cause a distraction with an eye-popping colour! Cheap and simple.

The shades in the picture are from Pop (www.popbeauty.co.uk) and are £6 each.