I was once fitted for a head-to-toe latex suit in a fetish shop. I was to play a superhero in a TV advert (sadly it never happened because I got the flu, if I remember rightly) and I needed to be rubberised – everything from the neck down – for my superhero costume. It was quite the experience – talcum powder all over to get the blasted thing to go on, and then double-shoulder-dislocation in order to get it off again. I needed two people to help me in and out and – let me tell you – it does not show off your body at its best angles when you’re contorting it to try and release your thighs from their sausage-skin casings.

Anyway, I’ve started off on a tangent as usual. I wanted to go in straight with a rave about Chanel’s new limited edition nail polish, Pink Rubber. My goodness, this is satisfying stuff: the palest pink shade but in a rubberised finish. Whoever came up with this (I have a feeling it was makeup maestro Lucia Pica) is a bloody genius. Ignoring the obvious batman black, Chanel have gone as pretty as can be but given it a sexy edge. If rubber is the sort of thing that turns you on. Otherwise, we’ll just call it a “modern” edge.

I often find matte nails to be rather on the dull and dirty side, looking just a little grubby and unpolished (which they quite literally are) but Pink Rubber (shade 542, FYI) looks clean and fresh. Even Mr AMR commented on them, saying that they looked – er – clean and fresh. (I often steal his descriptions for my posts because he doesn’t mince his words and there’s something nice about being straightforward when it comes to beauty.) Don’t ask me about longevity – the box says it’s a “velvet” polish and doesn’t mention the longwear claim – but a day in and they’re doing alright. I get bored after a day or two anyway, unless I’m wearing a nude shade that requires no maintenance, so – in the words of my friend’s teenager – whatevs.

*update: the Selfridges website calls it a longwear polish, so here’s hoping. I’ll report back when it starts to chip!

This is a luxury purchase – £18 – and also a fun one. Funxury. Luxyfun. Whatevs, I love it. Sold out in a few places already, so if you’re a double-C fanatic then swoop down on Selfridges here or Boots.com and get some Pink Rubber in your basket. (Good God, that’s a great phrase for a euphemism if I ever did see one.)