Oh, the dreaded PMT week has worked its way around again and I am trying to keep a lid on my symptoms, this month, rather than barking rabidly at members of my family and occasionally frothing at the mouth.
Last month’s PMT, at its peak intensity, saw me pacing up and down the driveway in the rain, inexplicably grasping a garden trowel and devising ways I could get revenge on my husband for something he had done but that I couldn’t quite remember. It could have been anything – the world is my disgruntlement oyster when I’m on the hormone highway to the Red Roof Inn.
At the moment he’s hiding from me, maybe watching Pointless, which in itself incenses me to an almost vessel-bursting degree. Because when I have PMT and I have to work I don’t like anyone to be a) having fun or b) relaxing. I prefer it if everyone sits in absolute silence, staring morosely into thin air and telepathically beaming me sympathy vibes.
Except that my three and four year-old couldn’t care less about my PMT or brain-strike (MUMMY LISTEN TO ME! MY (note: imaginary) FISH HAS A SLICE MISSING FROM HER TAIL! CALL THE DOCTOR!”
“It would be a vet,” I say, “and I don’t think vets do home visits for fish that they can’t see.”
Oh, all of my energies have to be ploughed into being civil. My head pounds, the blood races around my arms and legs and sends them at once buzzy and at the same time desperately fatigued, as though I have flu. I feel panicked, at this time of the month – out of control. It’s the same sensation I get as when I’m dreaming that I’m falling through space, free-falling, the feeling of weightlessness tainted with pure dread that happens just before I startle myself awake. I wouldn’t be great even without responsibilities, in PMT week, but now that I’m in a giant pressure cooker of continuous domestic duties and unceasing child-borne demands and –
“MUMMY! YOU HAVE TO GET THE VET FOR LAYLA THE FISH AND ALSO I NEED A POO. GET THE VET NOW, MUMMY, HERE’S YOUR PHONE.”
My nerves are jangled. My iPhone almost slips to the floor but is caught, ham-fisted, and passed to me covered in Nutella. All of my senses are heightened. I feel as though my skin has been thinned and that all of my nerve endings are more exposed. A door slam makes me jump, the sound of someone starting a hedge strimmer two fields away makes me want to pull on my wellies and march over and demand silence.
I’m surprised that the family haven’t crafted some sort of giant snake-holding stick, to keep me at arm’s length. With a loop at the end of a long pole so that that they could snare me and I could sit collared at the kitchen table, angrily sipping my camomile tea and darting my forked tongue at them.
Ha.
I always thought that the standard “brain fog, excruciating 24 hour headache and water retention” variety of PMT was bad enough, but lockdown PMT is like experiencing all of the aforementioned things whilst being chased by a swarm of angry bees around a shop selling expensive crockery. Wearing an itchy woollen suit that’s too tight around the torso.
Have you experienced Lockdown PMT yet? How was that for you? I am busy sketching out an Escape Cupboard for next time, seeing as though it’s quite likely we could still be in the same socio-domestic situation. I’m going to line it with all the empty egg boxes I’ve been collecting, but not filling because my chickens have decided they don’t like laying eggs this year, so that the walls are soundproofed. And then I’m going to put in one of those shitty little mini fridges that make more noise than a Boeing 747 jet engine and fill the mini fridge with cans of Coca Cola and bars of Dairy Milk. I’m then going to steal the family iPad, download every single episode of Friends and lock myself in the cupboard for six days.
When they open the door to retrieve me I shall be a spotty mess, gurning from the sugar overloads and subsequent lows, but at least nobody will have heard me scream…
Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash
I a woman of 59 laughed my socks of at this description of PMT, it sucks big time .
Now coming to the end of menopause (laughs loudly) believe me when I say I would rather have a life time of periods than this fresh hell of sweating (so I can wring my hair out at some ungodly hour of the morning)then stand in the garden to cool down or if working the walk in fridge, blah blah brain , where people’s mouths move but not sure what they are saying , then aching joints , look at things on the floor and leave them there, to much of a bend for knees theses are just a few of the symptoms I suffered every day relentlessly , all I can say is find a woman DR who will listen and help you find the right meds , do it do not hesitate life is short to be wasted feeling like shit.
My lockdown cabinet will need gin, chocolate and fairy lights. Xx
I wish I’d read this last week.
I get a period every 6 months or so due to my pill. I work for the NHS therefore have still been out working in a busy environment.
Last week I started getting terrible night sweats, then my colleague tested positive. Cue 4 days of quarantine while I wait on my own test result to come back.
Results day comes around, along with my bloody period! Turns out I’m just a hormonal female with hayfever and the worst period/PMS for years.
I’m so busy being lethargic and pissed off I can’t even write a coherent response. Why are we all having to put up with this in the year 2020?
Hahaha! xx
I am stealing the idea of the Lockdown Cabinet, except I will have a bed in there and just sleep six days straight, which seems to be all I want to do right now that shark week is approaching. That and cry over silly things like kittens and flowers.
Anne from Doctor Anne
Love you, Ruth.
So true. I made my husband read this so he realised I wasn’t mad…. and it was a common ‘problem’. He still doesn’t get it! Grrrrrr.
Oh yes I’m on my third journey of red river Nile. I’ve cried on the toilet all three times about COVID! My poor husband can’t even drink water in peace because it’s too loud, he can’t ask if I’m okay because why the hell are you asking?! It is horrible! I literally could easily not speak to anyone for a good week during this! Too bad it’s impossible. Anyway I’ve been supplementing with vitamin b6 and I must say I think I notice a difference. Takes a couple months but a bit less fiery but still emotional.
I get the PMT rage too! This week my work calls have left me shaking and crying with anger/frustration! I literally cannot control it (I obviously don’t shout at colleagues) but in my head I’ve punched them in the face. I sound crazy?!
Ha ha!
I laugh because this is me! This was me last week.
My poor dumbass fiance could not get why I was so stroppy and why I hated everything. Even I didn’t know. And then we all realised.
He fed me chocolate from a safe distance, I did in fact have a nap and watched Friends (best show ever) and somehow the symptoms subdued
I do wish I had some words of wisdom for you Ruth. I will say run, don’t wait, get an appt asap and continue to bitch until you get relief! Mine didn’t really flare up till I hit 40. Unfortunately my husband suffered an accident around that time and was bedridden. I became, and still am, his primary caregiver. I moved to the bottom of the totem pole. 11 years later, still his caregiver, almost finished home schooling 2 girls, carer for my Granny and mother in law, now it is finally my time. How I wish I had made time for myself and gotten help. The menopause demon bitch has now moved in and if I don’t get help I will totally end up in prison. For me, it never got better on its own. Get help now!!! I do finally have an appt next month and will take anything they can throw at me. Ready to lick black market HRT patches at this point. Best of luck!
I’m 47 and for the last 2 years I have been pretty crazy with anxiety, anger, tears upon tears and basically terrible pmt most of the time.I have a mirena so I’ve no idea where I am in my cycle.I was always slim now I have developed a massive gut, feel desperately invisible Nd all round useless most of the time.WTF happened
Hey, have you read the book “Period Power” by Maisie Hill. Its brilliant!
Thanks for this post, such a fantastic description that captures it exactly….currently in the middle of the raaaaage! Its got so much worse for me since kids, with age (I’m 39) and lockdown seems to amplify it….the unholy trinity…. i just get so angry and irrational. Fitbit tells me its real in that my resting heart rate rises 4 beats every month in the 3 days pre period. So at least its not all in my head. Currently self medicating with running and red wine (not simultaneously, although there’s an idea…). Really considering going to GP about it when we are released from isolation, dont fancy inflicting this on myself and others this till menopause. I think for me anxiety makes it more pronounced, and vice versa. Right of to drink the medicine ;) you are not alone!!
Yeah, me too – same age as you. Am considering the coil but haven’t really used any contraception for about twenty years and so thought I was done with having to faff about down there!
I’m 36 this year, two young children and not used any contraception for years but the PMT recently is just ridiculous…the bloating and water retention is like never before ♀️ Headaches, sensitive skin and pure rage!! so I’m thinking about the coil just to control the hormones!
Any opinions from anyone that has had the coil? X
Yes, would like to know too!
I had the hormonal coil (Mirena) for nine years and looking back, I can’t recommend it.
I’ve always suffered from low level depression, and the coil just seemed to make it worse. I constantly felt foggy and low and kind of removed from the world.
So no PMT and no periods, but a constant state of ‘meh’.
Ever since I had it removed I feel more like me and more alive, even though the natural hormonal mood swings are something else.
And although my husband hides from my rage once a month he also agrees that I’m less depressed and generally happier.
In any case I’m not a medical professional, but I think it’s worth bearing in mind how those hormones might affect any underlying conditions.
Oh OK, that’s very interesting. Thank you.
I can relate regarding the PMT. Unfortunately I love lock down (not the part where innocent people die) and I love WFH and have zero interest in going back to the office. I finally have time to exercise and cook healthy things. I saved a ton of money from TFL’s ridiculous fares. I also overall like this social distancing thing. :(
I realized I can live without restaurants and hairdressers.
Lockdown pmt drove me to throwing a 30m cable reel across the garden which subsequently whacked my on the arm with a plug. I then of course sobbed like a child. The joys…
I hit myself in the face yesterday and almost broke my teeth. Also cried.
Ah this is so me, I am surprised I have not been arrested yet! I want to kill everyone on sight when I have PMT and this lockdown has not been great at all. I have the Mirena as always have had horrendous PMT and periods that lasted more than 2 weeks. They have helped (I am on my 5th Mirena) but unfortunately this last one was put in too low because it was done at a sex clinic and I couldn’t wait 3 months for an appointment at the hospital for an assessment (can you believe in this day and age an assessment for a flipping contraceptive that helps you live an actual life instead of pain!!!) then more waiting for the actual insertion appointment.. Ridiculous but GP’s don’t do it in their surgeries anymore. I basically have a window of a few days of confidence, good moods and feeling ok not bloated, fat, irritable and sometimes downright nasty! I hate it and if there were better ways I would definitely look into it. Please speak more about this Ruth as there are so many women in the same situation.
I can relate to your story!
OMG, It’s awful!
Oh my God but all of this. Everything felt a million times worse and work was hideous and I wanted to cry/scream/shout and could not stop swearing. At everything and everyone. Even the 6 month old puppy realised everything was not as usual and kept throwing me huge brown eyed confused looks as to why I was still swearing at him because he was being a good boy and please can I have a biscuit now. What a state!
Very interested to read other comments from 45 year old readers…is this the peri menopause thingy? I feel like I need to do some research. After I’ve drunk more wine. And eaten some more cake that I really should stop baking.
These lockdown posts are flipping divine, please keep them coming!
Is it so dreadful that I’ve never had period pain, PMT or morning sickness? Hoping for an equally easy menopause.
Yes.
I’m on the implant and I hadn’t had a period in about 8 months (oh so smug)… until last month. Oh god, I’d forgotten how awful PMT was and it was a million times worse in lockdown. Crying for no reason and swearing at everything while my poor boyfriend tried to figure out what was wrong. I’m hoping it was a one-off stress-induced situation because I’m not sure I’ll cope again this month!
Same…minus the chickens.
How was that for you ? Er, exactly the same Ruth! Especially the marching up and down the garden driveway in the rain with a shovel!!!!! Hideous.
Totally like being contained in a box room with people chewing lettuce.
Hahaha
Exhausted, could have gone to sleep at 8pm but choose to watch hunky action film instead. Toss and turn for 3 hrs, angry at partner for breathing too loud. Start counting down hours till have to get up, start crying, go to kitchen still crying (1 am now), pour little drink hoping it will knock me out. Move my pillows and duvet into couch for sweet solitude. Feel lonely and despondent. Worry about work, tell self stupid for worrying. Check time again and wonder why not asleep. Blame world. Wonder if PMT is causing this or is it a full moon? Whisper to Siri what phase is the moon in tonight? Rejected by Siri several times, now angry at Siri (she’s supposed to be on my side, why doesn’t she understand me?) Text partner that I’m still awake at 2 am and to leave me alone in the morning. So yes, I’m sending you my sympathies via telepathy!
Haha, I love the nighttime text, I do that too!
Aaaargh, I had my first few days of PMT almost a month ago (uh-oh…) and it was awful. That terrible sense that everything is going really badly wrong and I can’t even quite tell what. The good thing about having little kids (mine are 4 and 2) is that they don’t allow you to just sit and wallow and think up more things to be cross about!
It all came too a head yesterday and I told DH we were splitting up then spent the day hiding under a tarpaulin at the allotment so I could dig, cry freely and work out when I could go home. Period cane today and all is tickety boo. I think PMT should be banned under lockdown, don’t think any of us will survive a third bout.
It is DANGEROUS for the whole “splitting up” thing! Hahaha. The thoughts that go through my mind in that week…and then I just can’t fathom it once the PMT is over…
OMG, yes. And that moment when your other half delicately asks if your period is due and you just about rip their head off. As well as the psychological side of it I would spend the first day or so of my period demanding/eating steak for dinner with a ferocity that was quite scary.
I had major gynae surgery in 2015 at age 42 that included a hysterectomy. I still have ovaries but I think the surgery kicked around with things enough to put me into deep peri-menopause. I think I have a cycle 3-4 times a year now and it is a flashback to the monthly horror that was PMT pre-surgery. And my PMT was worse after having kids. I never thought I’d be grateful for early(ish) menopause.
Hang in their lovely. Another thing to consider is PMDD. I think it is Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. I’m a bit hazy on the specifics anymore but it is a very real thing. It could be worth checking out when you are safe to do so. Is the UK doing tele/video health consultations?
https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/treating-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/premenstrual-dysphoria-disorder-its-biology-not-a-behavior-choice-2017053011768
Also, the joke is somewhat on me. Turns out a medication I started taking a month or so before my surgery is also used to treat/ease symptoms of PMDD. I think it helps a lot.
One of the best descriptions of pms ever.
Have you thought about going on hormone contraceptives? I only cope with my implant! Not perfect but tones it down 90%.
Yeah, I’m looking into it. I came off the pill about twenty years ago now because I was worried about “hormones” in my body (Lol) but haven’t researched since. I just need to get with the times!
Dong Quai and Chaste Berry tree tea (with some other bits that make it taste better!! Mind you, please discuss with GP first, and note this can have an effect on hormonal BC) have helped ease my moods SO much. It is literally my magic drink. Wine is great, but that tea? I will have one cup and I’m all mellow and happy and fun and not screaming at DH anymore. I got mildly depressed on every hormonal IUD I’ve had.
I was told (what would I know as I’ve never done it) that the secret to getting chickens to lay is a warm breakfast – for the chickens not you – so hot water/ hot.milk on the breakfast mush x
Oooh, great tip!!
We shoud walk into the pharmaceutical companies with waterguns loaded with red paint, demanding better hormones. Custom hormones and lady vitamins laced with CBD (optional THC of course). They say you should take antidepressants for PMT, but that’s a load of BS. We’re not depressed, we’re perpetually furious!!
I feel the irritation in my hands too!!! If my pinky buzzes, you’d better stay of my way.
Good luck! It helps that other people feel it too. At least all of us are sending quiet sympathy vibes to you.
I was in bed for 2 days, my head throbbing and I hadn’t really put two and two together. My husband knew to keep his distance and supply tea with a variety of essentials with a healthy chocolate supply. I get a weird craving for fish, like chippy fish
Now I want a can of coke! X
LOL, welcome to my world my fellow crazy lady. My family know when I’m due on as I start to slam things and the words ‘For fuck sake’ is on repeat. I have found Evening Primrose Oil works wonders (the high dose). I still go to work so they currently breath a sigh of relief xx
Correction: sweating sickness!
Totally sucks doesn’t it. I’m currently experiencing the joys of peri menopausal PMT (I’m 45) – this is particularly delightful because it’s all the usual crap (plus a bit extra, just to remind you of your escalating age) but with the added element of surprise in that it can hit you AT ANY TIME of the month, or not at all, depending upon what sort of mood your capricious hormones are in that week. This month, my hormones (I’ve started seeing them as an entirely separate entity, completely divorced from my rational self) decided they’d hit me with another week of PMT symptoms only 8 days after the end of my last period! So that’s been nice. Determined to believe we will emerge out of the other end of the menopause tunnel as fully enlightened, wise, powerful Druid-esses……got to be some payback for all of this sh*t, no? Good luck, hope you start to feel better sharpish x
Oh my God that sounds horrendous!!! x
Snap! I’m 52 and in peri menopause. This time round my cycle went from 28 days to 48, a week before my period hit I just couldn’t be arsed to do anything, felt guilty for not going on my daily exercise allowance and ate crap – just returning to normal two weeks later. How much longer FFS?? As in how many more periods before I’m post menopausal and how long before the lockdown ends…….aaarrgghh!!
Haha! Apparently Henry VIII did something similar when there was something going round like the sleeping sickness. He’d cloister himself away into a splendid tiny room with his music and books until it had passed. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/apr/17/self-isolate-like-king-why-henry-viii-role-model-for-staying-in
Correction: sweating sickness!
I know it’s wrong but I absolutely love Henry VIII. I’ve spent almost two decades reading about him now. LOL!
Oh god it was fecking awful. Creeping dread x 100,000,000 plus ‘is it Coronavirus’ type symptoms of swollen glands, dizziness and sickness which meant I had to have a lie down mid conference call more than once, woke up and could smell the kitchen bin downstairs through 2 closed doors, irrational fear of being made redundant/ place of work burning down with every email that pinged, threw kitchen bin across room in fit of rage because I’m the only one who fecking empties it without prompting, could go on!
Haha, the smell of the bin!!
Ugh!!! Also hate that my sense of smell seems to improve exponentially sometimes with PMT… why?!?!?! If that happens, I sometimes have to switch to the opposite sidewalk if someone is walking in front of me who is smoking. Or wearing a (not necessarily heavy) perfume. Or walking a wet dog. Or… The list goes on! Also cannot enter restrooms smelling of citrusy cleaning agent. *gags*
I read this can happen while pregnant (the improved sense of smell thing), but so far I have never had this confirmed considering „just PMT“… Glad I am not the only one!!!
Try peri-menopausal pmt!! That’s fun! No idea when your period will come but it’ll either be super later or super early and vary from ‘why freaking bother’ to ‘when will it ever end’! Thank God for menstrual cups, best invention EVER!!!!
I was never a bitch before peri-menopause!
Oh God!! Why do the cups help? Excuse my ignorance!! xx
I hate to freak you out but it is because menstrual cups hold a large volume (compared to a tampon) and you can also wear them with a maternity pad for when the cup fills and then leaks and you fill the maternity pad too. Maybe all in 1-2 hours. You know, long enough to make school lunches, yell at the kids, and do the the school run. There’s a cheery thought, isn’t it?
I’ve had many friends go through the same experiences, generally starting in their early 40s like me. Most went to using a Mirena or had an endometrial ablation, which is only done if you are 100% sure your family is complete.
I think lots more education needs to be available to women as we head to peri-menopause and menopause. All the books in the world on puberty, fertility, childbirth, and parenting, but bloody few on menopause. It’s like going into puberty but knowing nothing about what is happening to you.
On a cheery note, I went and saw “Menopause: the musical” with a huge group of school mums. Needless to say the audience was full of women of a certain age. We laughed so hard we were crying. I’m terribly glad I have good bladder control
Hahahaha, that sounds amazing!!
Oh bless you.
I’m the same but sans children. I’m bad as it is and the past year and a bit I’ve been on a bit of a journey with my cycle as mine is every 3 weeks. So I get a few more of these disastrous times than most. SO frustrating. I feel like I’ve just stopped bleeding then here we go again!
For me, I’m trying to tone up, and every time I get a bit of motivation to hop into the garden I’m crippled with pain. It’s like my body is working against me :(
Georgina
Oh having it every three weeks is a total bastard. x
Ha ha…
You’re so funny, Ruth, it’s hard to tell if you’re being serious… or just telling a story to entertain.
Do you really suffer from PMT? I do, and it’s awful and debilitating.
Yes, of course – I sometimes embellish for comic effect, but I don’t lie! : )
xx
Oh Ruth your posts about this stuff always give me a good laugh! Sorry you’re in the midst of PMT lockdown hell. I’m 6 months pregnant so thankfully PMS is one thing I don’t have to worry about but I still get the rage every now and again.
Have you tried Vit B6 and also magnesium? They helped me a lot. And I hear Omegas like Borage Oil or Evening Primrose help balance everything out too. Hormones are certainly a bitch aren’t they? Hang in there and eat all the chocolate- it’s full of magnesium!!
Yes, I need to get some Omegas. I should anyway, for my joints. Or is that cod liver oil? Or is cod liver an omega? FFS I give up.
Oh I’m not sure about the cod liver oil! Still traumatised from having to take that as a child. I do take a fish oil though or a vegan algae oil. You want one with DHA and EPA apparently. Also, I swear by probiotics! My brand of choice is Proven. They even do specific ones for women’s health with added Vit B6. Can’t recommend them enough. I’m 36, currently pregnant with first baby and I spent several years getting my hormones balanced before I conceived (have hypothyroidism so needed to get that under control first) Went to a functional medicine GP and took a slew of vitamins and minerals for nearly a year to get myself balanced, but it worked! Should rally write a few blog posts about it. Now I just take a small selection of vitamins and minerals. But yeah the B6 and magnesium really do make a difference! And the omegas.
Good Lord, do you really get it that bad Ruth? I know you’re writing for comic relief too, but I could feel myself backing away virtually while reading the post! I feel sorry for you girls today. You’re expected to make do with some weed….ok Herb thingy and deep breathing to get through PMS and periods. Bugger that. Back in my day, we had alcohol, cigarettes and Midol. The latter being an OTC PMS medicine. We North Americans call it premenstrual syndrome. You call it premenstrual tension. Let’s just name it “get out of my face before I beat you to death with my iPhone”. I panicked when I moved here and found out there was nothing remotely like it available in England. I’ve since been blessed with menopause. But we won’t go there for now. Anyway, your egg crate cupboard sounds a bit extreme. May I suggest a garden shed or maybe the kids have a wendy house you might commandeer? I’m happy to send alcohol and cigarettes.
It probably isn’t so extreme from the outside but yeah, I feel really quite depressingly angry in the week beforehand!!
Just give it 10 years, and it will all seem a far-away dream. I used to have the worst cramps that required meds, and PMT, until age 50. And voila, all over! So brighter days are ahead. You’d think something would have been invented that completely eases this experience every month. I do think omegas help, calcium, and magnesium. Feel better. Try putting on some music and it away.
Love to you, Aliana
Oh, yes. I can relate SO much. And the sheer thought of the fact that roughly 25% of our lives (mine) feel like this, makes me even angrier. Or numb, or sad, it depends. It’s a cliché, but if men had PMT, there would be a treatment for it.
I hadn’t thought of that – 25%!
I know what you mean :-) whenever I start thinking that divorce is the only solution to our problems, my ads start showing bose noise cancelling headphones I know my period is on time. The worse part of it is that I get surge in cleaning but run out of energy mid way through the house and I not only find people irritating I also find myself insufferable….. So hard hiding from myself
Hahahaha!!
Yes. So much. And my last period was a week late (probably because I would have ovulated around the start of lockdown and was really quite stressed), so I was extra PMT-y. I felt like I was going slowly but surely insane, and existed on chocolate and tea.
Chocolate and tea. Excellent strategy.