I must have the hardest water in London because hardly anything foams up in my bath. I’m trying to actually remember the last thing I used that created any bubbles – I simply can’t think what it could have been! Bubble baths and foams just seem to fall completely flat once they’ve been in the water for a few minutes, which pretty much defeats the point of using them. For that reason I tend to gravitate towards bath oils and the odd scoop of salts when I’m feeling in the mood for danger; there’s never any disappointment with an oil, is there?

But hold the front page, Hilda, because I’ve found something that foams. It foams everyone! Origins Ginger Float actually makes bubbles in my bath. Not a tremendous amount, I’ll be honest, but enough to make three little cloud puffs and strategically float them over my rude bits. (We all do that, don’t we?) If you have normal water you’ll achieve bubble towers of tremendous proportions with this bubble cream, and if you have soft water you may want to ensure that all of your windows and doors are open when you use it. If you’ve ever poured washing up liquid into a jacuzzi you’ll know the kind of effect I’m talking about.

Bubbles aside, this bath cream smells absolutely delicious – it’s just perfect for this snowy cold weather. Like the bathing equivalent of a hot chocolate. Surprisingly, you only need a small amount (half a palmful at the most) to achieve lift-off, so this big tub will last for a good long while. You do have to perfect the art of administering the cream to the water though; inept bathers will find that they waste quite a bit of cream as it slips through their fingers and down to the bottom of the tub! Method for effective bubbling: take a small scoop of the ginger cream and hold under the running water until dissolved, making sure that the other hand is cupped beneath ready to catch any errant bubble bath ‘stuff’.

I can’t actually believe that I’ve just given instructions for how to use bubble bath. This is an all-time low.

Tomorrow: how to open a letter without cutting yourself.

Origins Ginger Float is £22 from JohnLewis.com